Where does time go?

So, it’s been a while since I posted my first into post stating that “big things” would be revealed and the sort. I had fully planned on sitting down and cranking out amazing piece detailing what I have experienced the past few months and how I’m dealing with it. (I’m really not.) 

I have been working on said post, but I’m putting so much personal detail and information in it, that anytime I sit down to write about what happened and what I need help with, I start to go into panic attack mode. It’s miserable and I wish I had a way to make it stop that didn’t involve not writing about it.

That being said, these are my Saturday plans:

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I’m making it my mission to finish what I need to write and let anyone who wants to read it, do just that.

It’s terrifying, but it also helps in a way.

Not as I’m doing it, that sucks, but the only way I’m going to get comfortable doing what makes me anxious, is to do the things that make me uncomfortable.  Plus, if I’m being honest, most things make me somewhat uncomfortable these days.

So, with that being said, stay tuned over the next couple of days for a post detailing what it’s like to be dealing with: depression, anxiety, ADHD, PMDD, getting fired from a job for having a panic attack, the effects that losing aforementioned job has had on my life, and waiting on a disability decision.

Enough rambling for now, at least I have the  American Gods S2 premiere to entertain me as I try to muck through my brain and pull out coherent sentences that accurately describle my life.

Until next time.

Grab me by my ankles I’ve been flying for too long I couldn’t hide from the thunder In the sky full of song

Well, here we are, my first “official” blog post. Don’t expect anything too informative, just yet.

That’s coming soon, don’t worry. 

This website has been a work in progress for years. I’ve enjoyed writing since I was a child, forcing my poor classmates in 1st grade to read my ridiculous “stories” I would write during recess. That love for writing continued into high school and even college, but as I got older, and life became harder, that “love” went into deep hibernation. Not dead, just buried deep behind thoughts, feelings, and all that other stuff I don’t enjoy talking about. 

Somewhere along the line I became a perfectionist, a word I never thought I would use to describe myself.  I’d beat myself up for not being able to straighten my thoughts when I sat down to write, for blanking in the middle of writing, and for my writing in general, never thinking it was good enough. I was, and still am my own worst critic. I’m slowly learning to be easier on myself, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. This criticism of myself is one of the major reasons I stopped writing for a while. If we’re being honest, this was probably one of the first signs that I was suffering from Major Depressive Disorder. (and generalized anxiety disorder, PMDD, and a whole slew of other fun stuff.)

I’ve been pretty lost for a while now and I still haven’t been able to find myself. I’m working on it though and some days are better than others.  I want this website to be a place where people can come to realize they’re not alone, they’re not crazy, and to find help.  (Even though the past 2 weeks have taught me that the “help” the government speaks of, isn’t really that easy to obtain, especially for someone who uses a good portion of energy getting out of bed in the morning.)

(More about my mental health and what’s going on and how you can help in my next post, which is going to be a Vlog that explains what the hell has been happening in my life and essentially holds people accountable for their actions and the way they treat people that suffer from a mental illness or any sort of disability.)

Anyway, If you’re wondering what the title of this post means/is, it’s a song by “Florence & The Machine” titled Sky Full of Song that I absolutely love and it seems to fit how I’m feeling right now.

If you want to listen to the song, click HERE.

You can also visit my YouTube Page and check out the playlist section, once there, select the playlist “Music Suggestions” to check out & listen to some stellar music. 

I think that’s all for now. I’ve realized I’ve been working on this page and other elements for quite some time and I still need to make dinner.

I’m planning on officially launching the website in the next couple days, ideally tomorrow,  but we shall see. Stay tuned if you want to get some info on what exactly I’m rambling about these days.

In the meantime, feel free to subscribe to updates, follow on social media, bookmark this site, and of course admire my attempt at a website logo which is located below.

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Contact and Social Media

(all are still temporarily under construction but are up and ready to be followed!)

Email: FiredtoInspired@gmail.com

Twitter:  @firedtoinspired

Instagram: @firedtoinspired

Facebook

YouTube

Until next time!